


Roller Derby Queen

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [29]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: The Dark Prince Charming (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Blood and Violence, Bob - Freeform, F/M, Joker cheering his girl on, Oral Sex, Roller Derby, Smut, non-abusive Joker and Harley Quinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:21:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23070883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Harley is asked to participate in a roller derby game
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Gotham Nights [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/551110
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Roller Derby Queen

The mellow and romantic sound of Dean Martin singing “Return to Me” filled the room. 

Joker--his green hair slicked back except for one green curl hanging down on his forehead--was dressed in a three piece dark purple suit adorned with wide black stripes, a black dress shirt, and a dark purple tie in which he had set an emerald tie pin (a gift from Harley.) His sharply pointed shoes were polished black with dark purple designs that on closer inspection looked like smiley faces. In his arms he held his wife, Harley, who wore a tight red dress with ruffles along the neckline, hem, and capped sleeves with black buttons down the front, while a slit showed some of her thigh. The dress had a black sash at her waist tied in a bow and she wore a pair of black opened toed heels with her fishnet stockings; a strap around the ankle made the heels extra sexy she thought. 

She had curled and pinned her hair in a style reminiscent of Ava Gardner (done up with the help of Bob) and she had pinned a black dahlia in her hair. 

Joker grinned at Harley. His red lips shone in the dim romantic light as they danced in the living room of their hideout, the only light coming from several candles littered around the room. Bob had helped Harley decorate the room for Joker’s birthday (or unbirthday, since none of them had any idea when his birthday actually was) with balloons, candlelight, a large banner, and romantic music along with dinner--hamburgers and french fries. 

Harley had even gotten a bubble machine so that there were bubbles floating around the room. 

Joker spun her out and began singing along with Dean Martin. 

“Return to me 

For my heart wants you only 

Hurry home, hurry home 

Won't you please hurry home to my heart…” 

Harley giggled as he spun her back into his arms. He took her hand in his, his other arm wrapped around her waist as Harley laid her hand on his shoulder. With a bright smile, Joker led her in a circle around the room. 

“I love you puddin,” Harley whispered as Joker stopped spinning to hold her, swaying in place to the music. She wrapped her arms around his neck while gazing into his blue eyes. She could lose herself in his eyes, she thought, in his smile. She loved everything about him, every maddening, crazy, homicidal piece of him. 

Joker gazed into Harley’s eyes, tightening his hold on her as he pulled her up against him. “I love you my pumpkin pie. Tonight was perfect. One of my best birthdays yet.” He moved her around to press her back up against a wall. “And the night isn’t over yet.” He gave her a wicked smirk, his eyes moving from her face to look significantly down at her cleavage. “You did promise me that there was some very nice underwear under this dress, didn’t you?” 

A giggle bubbled up from between her red painted lips. “I did puddin, I did.” 

Reaching up, Joker unfastened the first button at her cleavage. The two parts of her dress that the button held in place popped apart once the button was undone to give Joker a hint of red lace. 

“Oooh red lace, my favorite,” he purred. 

“I know puddin, I’m wearing all your favorites,” Harley murmured as her fingers caressed his tie. 

Joker’s chuckle was deep with pleasure as he started to work on the next button when they heard a loud knock at the door. 

He went still as Harley whispered. “Ignore it puddin.” 

He nodded and worked on the third button when the knocking came again. “Oh come on!” Joker threw his arms up into the air. “It’s my birthday month!! You don’t turn twenty-five every day!!” 

Harley giggled. “Puddin, you’re always twenty-five.” 

Joker turned to look at her sticking out his bottom lip in a world class pout. 

Harley stroked her fingers along the sides of his hair with both hands, caressing his ears. “I’m sorry puddin--that was mean of me. You are twenty-five. Forgive me?” 

Joker pouted, ignoring the knocking and said sullenly. “Fine, I suppose I forgive you, but only because you’re cute and you have a grade A vagina.” 

Harley giggled, her cheeks bright pink. 

The knocking came again and Joker began to stomp over to the door, holding Harley’s hand as he pulled her along with him. “FOR FUCK’S SAKE!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND YOUR OWN BODY STOP WITH THE GODDAMN KNOCKING!!” 

Harley cringed. Whoever was on the other side of the door was going to be dead unless it was something important, although her husband might still kill whoever it was, unless it was Bob or Frost. She was fairly sure they were safe from death at Joker’s hand. 

Joker flung the door open to see Bob--a vision in a purple and yellow tutu set--standing beside Frost. Harley snickered, oops, no killing of henchmen this evening! 

Joker narrowed his blue eyes at the two of them. He was clearly still angry, his voice low, but he was calmer when he saw who was at the door. “All right, what’s going on?!” he snarled. 

Frost looked apologetic. “Sorry Boss, Miss Quinn, but this just arrived for you within the last hour. Not sure what it is, but we thought it might be important.” Frosted handed Joker a bright orange envelope. Harley and Joker exchanged a look before Joker tore it open, pulling out a letter on orange paper. 

Joker held the letter up and read out loud. “This letter is for one Harley Quinn…” 

Harley frowned. “Me?” 

Joker narrowed his eyes. He never liked it when Harley was singled out, mostly because it usually meant trouble, but he said nothing and continued to read. “You are invited to participate in a grand game of daring, chance, and skill! You, along with your teammates, are invited to participate in the grand, sexy, and violent game of ROLLER DERBY!!” There was a star by the word teammates that led down to the bottom of the page where it read in small writing. “Teammates will be the other guests invited to participate in the gaming event. You are not encouraged to bring teammates, though you are encouraged to bring spectators willing to place bets on this game of chance and skill.” 

Joker grumbled. “Spectators?” He made a face and continued reading. “I, the Game Master, will be holding this spectacular tournament at the Gotham City Amusement Rink tomorrow night! If you win, you and your teammates will share in a pot $100,000!!” There was another set of stars that led down the page where there was another note. “All non-participants will be subject to a cover fee.” 

Joker groaned loudly. “Game Master? That dweeb?” 

Harley leaned on Joker’s shoulder reading over the invitation. “Ooh, but roller derby sounds fun!” 

Joker shrugged. “I suppose. It’s better than his usual schtick which is usually stupid boardgames or game shows…” He muttered again. “What a giant dweeb.” 

“That’s a decent amount of money puddin…” She frowned, doing figures in her head. “Depending on the size of the roller derby team, it could mean up to twenty grand each.” 

Joker groaned, making a face and stomping his feet, turning around in a circle. “Yeah, not bad for a game, but it’s Game Master Harley!! Game Master!! Ugh!! I hate him more than I hate Riddler!” 

Harley giggled watching him acting like a toddler for a few seconds before she whispered. “I get to wear booty shorts and roller skates...” 

Joker stopped his tantrum and turned around to look at her. Harley grinned at him and whispered. “...with pigtails and long socks too. And I get to punch people…” 

Joker narrowed his eyes, then slowly grinned. “Fine, but only because you are speaking to one of my many fetishes concerning you.” 

Harley giggled with excitement clapping her hands. “This is gonna be fun! I haven’t gotten to roller skate in ages!” 

* 

Joker and Harley, along with Frost, Bob, Ecco (who looked so excited to be there that Harley wanted to hug her. This was Ecco’s first outing with them as part of their group. She had even dressed in Joker’s and Harley’s colors, with black jeans, a long sleeved red top and a green jacket. Frost must be super serious about her if he brought her along Harley thought with glee), and Archie arrived at the Gotham City Amusement Rink around 1 a.m. as the invitation specified. The rink was dark, but none of them were fooled by the lack of lighting on the outside. Frost drove around the rink once, but everything seemed quiet, before heading into a 24 hour pay-by-the-hour parking garage within a short walking distance. 

Joker hopped out of the car wearing a pair of purple and black pinstripe pants that were cut to accentuate his long legs, with a pair of green with purple and red joker card faces printed on them. He wore a black t-shirt with large purple lettering on the chest that read. “I…” with a large red heart followed by “...My Penis!” with a purple arrow pointing down to his crotch. Over the t-shirt he wore a purple and black pinstripe coat with tails that nearly dragged the ground and some sharp toed black dress shoes. 

Behind Joker came Harley wearing a pair of sparkling red booty shorts, fishnet stockings with knee high red and black striped socks, a tight fitting black t-shirt with the sleeves cut away with “I…” with a large red heart. “...His Penis 2” A large red arrow pointed to her right with another pointing to the left so that no matter which side she stood on, an arrow pointed at Joker. She was also wearing knee and elbow pads and fingerless gloves. Her hair was held up in pigtails to reveal diamond shaped black and red earrings, and her helmet was held under her arm while her red skates were tossed over one shoulder. Harley had painted the helmet; one half was purple and green, the other half red and black. 

Frost was dressed in his typical black suit with a red tie while Bob wore a tutu that reflected Harley’s helmet; one side of the tutu was red and black, the other purple and green. He wore black leggings with red high tops and a black t-shirt that read in bold purple. “If Lost Return To The Clowns” across his chest. 

Archie had shown up in his usual outfit, a white clown costume spotted with red polka dots, a ruffled white collar, and a white cone hat with a red pompom on top, and a pair of red high tops. 

Archie had a large cigar in his mouth as he looked around the parking garage. “This looks like a great place to get killed.” 

Joker pulled out a cigarette from the packet inside his coat and stuck it in his mouth before pulling out the matches. He struck one as he looked around, holding the flame to his cigarette. He took a deep drag as he flicked the match out and tossed it to the ground. 

“Well, I suppose we should head on over. I wouldn’t worry too much about dying. Game Master is a dweeb and he sucks at killing people--always has,” Joker muttered through a cloud of smoke. 

Harley took his free hand. “Don’t be so grumpy puddin, I get to skate! That’ll be fun! And I’m gonna win that money!” She pumped her arm into the air with a whoop. “Then I’m gonna buy a cotton candy machine!! 

Bob clapped his hands in delight. 

Ecco added softly. “I love cotton candy.” 

Frost looked down at her with a smile. “Me too.” 

Joker laughed and brought Harley’s hand up to kiss her gloved knuckles. “I love you, you little minx.” 

Harley wrinkled her nose playfully at him before they set off to the rink. 

* 

When they arrived at the rink they could hear the muffled sounds of music inside. They headed around to the service entrance where they found two large armed men waiting. 

Harley eagerly jumped forward with the invitation, waving it about a bit before handing it to one of the big men. “Harley Quinn reporting with her plus six!” 

One of the men was a large dark skinned man with long black hair pulled back into a tail. He looked over the invite, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the Joker along with the rest of the small group. 

Joker grinned at him blowing a line of his smoke in the man’s direction. “Something wrong handsome?” 

The man looked uncomfortable as Joker winked at him which sent Harley into a fit of giggles, but when Joker made a kissy face at the man she elbowed him in the side. “Knock it off puddin!” 

Joker chuckled, flicking his cigarette away at the same time he grabbed Harley around the waist and pulled her close against him. “Oh now don’t go being jealous sweetums. You know you’re the only one who gets to play with my little Joker.” 

Ecco whispered to Frost. “Is he going to kill someone?” She glanced at Joker to which Frost responded with a frown. “I can never be sure, but I hope not. Miss Quinn would be pretty upset about not skating.” Ecco nodded and added, “I would be too...about the skating I mean.” 

Harley giggled, wrapping her arms around Joker’s neck after tossing her skates to Bob who caught them out of the air as if he expected her to toss them. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Joker chuckled while cupping her rear with his hands grinning at her from ear to ear, his lips bright red. 

Harley caressed his face. “Just so you know, you do any more, I’m going to slice their throats open.” She glanced over at the big guy giving him the evil eye which caused the big man to pale. “I’ll just be sure it’s slow and that it hurts a lot too.” 

Joker smiled, shrugged, and adjusted his hold on her, glancing over her to the big man with the long hair. “Sorry darling, my girl is a jealous little thing. It’s only one of her many, many qualities that I love.” 

Harley giggled, turning her attention back to Joker. She kissed him slowly, a very graphic, tongue licking, open mouth kiss. Joker squeezed her ass before adjusting his hold on her before he kissed his wife more aggressively. The man who had been the object of the minor fight paled more, looking at Frost who shrugged. “Best let us in before they get too involved in each other or we’re all going to have to be stuck out here while they...” He grimaced. 

Archie nodded. “You do not wanna be around when they go at each other, it’s gross.” 

The man opened the door quickly and held it open, his partner doing his best not to snicker. “Welcome to the Game Master’s Gotham Elite Thunderball Roller Derby!” 

Joker gave Harley’s throat and lips an extravagant lick before he carried her through the doors. 

* 

Inside, the place was a mass of chaos. There were lights flashing everywhere and the music was loud enough that it made their bodies vibrate. And there were people everywhere. Joker set Harley on her feet, taking her hand as they walked further in where they were stopped by another man, but this one was dressed in an all black bodysuit that hugged the man like a second skin. The outfit had a wide ring around his dark shoulders trimmed in fabric dice so pink they were clearly not natural. The man’s skin was dark enough that he seemed to absorb the light and his hair was a shade of blonde so light that his hair looked white and reflected the rainbow of colors that were spinning around the skating rink as he blocked their way with a big smile. 

“Gotta pay the entrance fees!!! OH, you must be one of the skaters!” The man turned his attention to Harley giving her a once over. “Well aren’t you just a piece of cake!! I love the shirts!” Then he seemed to realize who he was talking to and gasped loudly. “You’re Harley Quinn!!! Oh my god, I love your style! And you must be her boyfriend, the Joker!” 

Joker narrowed his eyes, not liking the way this man kept ogling Harley. Piece of cake? He called his girl a piece of cake!! No one got to call her food items but him because he was the only one eating her out...ever! 

Joker growled low. “I’m her husband. Her very deadly husband.” 

Harley giggled, wrapping her arm around his waist. “Yes you are puddin!” 

The man stopped and blinked. “Husband? Really?” He frowned and seemed to re-evaluate something before he smiled again. “How...delightful! Well I’m Quality Assurance, or QA as everyone calls me. I’m Game Master’s right hand man.” He grinned, clearly proud of this. 

Joker grumbled. “So the dweeb hires...dweebs, wonderful. Bob, pay the man his fees so we can get past him before I decide to slit his throat.” 

QA put his hands up. “You also have to check your weapons.” 

Joker ground his teeth. “WHAT?!” 

QA finally seemed to realize who he was dealing with as his eyes widened slightly. “Sorry, but Game Master insists that everyone check their weapons.” He motioned to the right where a desk was set up with a couple of young women dressed in black dresses with the same fake pink dice trimming their dresses who were taking coats and weapons from people who were entering behind them. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Joker muttered. 

Harley put her lip out. “Please puddin…” 

Joker sighed, looking at her adorable and pouty face before he pointed at her and hissed. “Sex tonight, you leave the skates, the socks, and the helmet on and nothing else.” 

“Puddin, you know how I feel about naked people wearing shoes.” She wrinkled her nose, but Joker only smiled at her. “Yes, but you don’t have to look at yourself...I do and as I said before, I have my very specific kinks concerning you. Is it a deal?” 

Harley giggled. “Deal puddin!” She put her hand out and the two of them shook. Joker grinned clearly pleased. “All right boys, let’s check our weapons!” 

* 

After they had checked in and paid the entrance fee, Harley had to kiss Joker goodbye before she was led to the locker rooms in the back to find out who she would be playing with and against. 

Joker watched her go with a sigh, being led off by a large woman with shoulders nearly as broad as Frost’s and wearing a black unitard printed with dice. 

He frowned. He was excited to watch her skate, but he also hated being away from her. Bob sensed Joker’s unhappiness and put his arm around the clown’s shoulders. 

Joker reached up and patted Bob’s hand. “Thanks Bob.” 

Frost smiled. “They have refreshments Boss--you want me to grab you a soft pretzel or a deep fried Twinkie?” 

Archie frowned in thought. “How many fried twinkies would it take to kill me?” 

“Too many,” Joker mused before he sighed as Bob led them into the bleachers. “A pretzel Frost. Oh look!” He pointed up in the bleachers at Penguin. Next to him sat Riddler. “Oh, we’re sitting there boys!” 

Frost took Ecco’s hand, both of them sharing a smile, and headed off to the concessions. 

* 

Up in the bleachers Riddler groaned, having spotted Joker down below. “Oh fuck! That clown’s here.” 

Penguin looked down and grinned. “Perfect! If Harley’s skating, then our chances of winning just went up!” 

“Well, that depends if she’s skating with Lark and Quelle. The teams haven’t been decided yet...ah fuck me! He saw us!” Riddler groaned. 

“Hello boys!” Joker yelled as he took the bleacher stairs two at a time, stopping in front of Penguin and Riddler, his hands on his hips. “Fancy seeing you two!” Joker grinning happily. 

Penguin smiled. “Nice to see you Joker, Bob--where’s Frost?” 

“Oh he went to grab me a pretzel with his girlfriend.” Joker smiled as Bob scared off the couple of people who were sitting on the bench below Penguin and Riddler before pulling out a pink kerchief and began dusting off the seat. 

Penguin leaned on his cane, wanting to ask about Frost’s girlfriend, but instead asked. “Is Harley skating?” 

“She sure is!” Joker beamed. “My girl is gonna wipe the floor with the competition!” 

Penguin grinned. “Well I’m going to bet on whichever team Harley’s on then.” 

“Good man!” Joker sat down on a bench below them after Bob had finished cleaning it. Once Joker was seated, Bob sat down beside him, Archie sitting on the bleacher in front of Joker. 

Riddler muttered sarcastically. “Oh good, he’s sitting with us.” 

“So, Game Master…” Joker said with a clear tone of disgust. “...you here for the money or because your girls wanted to skate or both?” 

Riddler sucked on his teeth before answering. “The money. Quelle wants to buy some nice furniture for our hideout.” 

Penguin smiled. “Same, the money, though Lark seemed quite thrilled with the idea of skating. I think my dear Lark likes to stretch her wings occasionally and try something new.” 

Joker grinned brightly. “Harley wanted to skate and I wanted to see her skate...the money would be nice too though.” He chuckled. “Harley wants to buy a cotton candy machine!” 

Riddler made a face with a shake of his head, but said nothing to that. 

Frost came up the bleachers just then carrying four soft pretzels, five large sodas, and a bag of gummy bears while Ecco carried a deep fried twinkie on a stick and a large bag of popcorn. 

Joker clapped his hands. “Treats!!” 

Riddler groaned, muttering. “This is going to be a long game.” 

* 

Inside the locker room, Harley was vibrating with excitement. This was going to be so much fun! She had brushed up on her rules of roller derby, but she had overheard one of the guards who was standing in front of the locker room talking about how this game was going to have only one rule: win by any means necessary. She was so excited!! If that was true, that was going to make this game even more fun because she could cut loose! AND she could show off for her puddin! 

She was dancing with excitement as she followed the voices of the other women talking in the back of the locker room. 

She turned a corner and saw the rest of the girls. They were all sitting on benches in front of the lockers talking excitedly. She saw Catwoman. That surprised her. She lifted an eyebrow and realized she wasn’t really surprised to see Selina so much as she was surprised that the thief was going to be playing and not just trying to steal the pot. Selina was leaning against the lockers dressed in black shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt tied under her breasts with a large cartoon cat on her chest. Harley’s eyes moved from Selina to the other women. She frowned seeing some people that she knew by name and sight, but didn’t actually know. There was Cheshire, an assassin with long black hair and cold black eyes. Harley was surprised to see her here, as this didn’t seem like Cheshire’s sort of gig.

Then there was Magpie, a clepto with some serious serial killer vibes. The woman also had a black and white mohawk. Hadn’t those gone out of style in the 80’s Harley wondered. Magpie’s whole aesthetic gave Harley Cruella deVille vibes. There was Roulette, her dark hair held up by two hair sticks, dressed in red shorts and a matching halter top, her green serpent tattoo on full display. Harley knew she ran death matches in a casino...oh yeah, Harley remember hearing that Roulette had lost everything last time she was arrested. Okay Harley thought, that explained why Roulette was here, she probably needed the money… 

And then there was Minerva with her white blonde beehive-like hairdo and sparkling white diamond one-piece outfit, who Harley knew hated her for some reason. The woman looked like she stepped off the stage from being a background singer for some weird 70’s era band. These women were all well-known villains to Harley, but not any of them were people that Harley would call friends. 

Luckily, besides Selina, there were a handful of girls that Harley did know! There was Killer Frost, dressed all in blue; Ivy, her best friend of course; Roxy wearing a lot of brown leather (kinky she thought); Livewire who was also rocking a blue aesthetic; and Lark, and Quelle. 

Harley waved smiling brightly. “Hey everybody!!” 

Minerva scowled. “Oh, you’re here too? I didn’t know they were inviting clown fuckers.” 

Harley ignored her though the jab made her want to show Minerva just what a clown fucker could do to her perfect nose with her clown fist, but instead Harley walked over to her best friends in Gotham--Ivy, Selina, Lark, and Quelle. “Hey, it’s so cool you guys are here!” 

Ivy, dressed all in green in an outfit that Harley was sure were made of leaves, hugged Harley. “I figured you would be here! Not sure I would be skating if you didn’t show up.” 

Harley hugged her back, rocking her friend back and forth with her as she hugged her. “Ivy!! I’m so glad you’re here!” 

Lark laughed. “Well damn, I hope I get on your team! Whoever’s got Harley on their team is sure to win.” 

Harley kept her arm around Ivy’s waist as she turned to face the other girls. “Ah, thanks Lark. So how are we picking teams?” 

Quelle made a face. “Well one of the attendees said that Game Master wants the teams to be chosen at random.” 

Lark nodded. “Yep, and this is going to be a no holding back game, no rules.” 

Cheshire spoke up then from where she sat putting on her skates. “Well one rule, no killing, which I think is a very stupid rule.” 

Harley glanced over at Cheshire. “Well if you start killing people on the floor out there then the game will be over real quick and I don't know about you, but I came here to skate!” 

Cheshire shrugged as she tied her laces. “I suppose, though I plan to draw blood.” 

Harley narrowed her eyes at Cheshire before ignoring her. 

Selina smiled running her fingers through her short hair. “Well I’m not interested in killing anyone, I just want that pot.” 

Harley frowned at her. “I don't mean to be intrusive, but ah, why are you skating instead of trying to steal it?” 

Selina smiled, leaning back against the lockers and folding her arms over her chest. “I thought skating might be fun.” She shrugged. “Simple as that.” 

“Huh, simple as that,” Harley murmured. 

Any further conversation was stopped as the large woman who had led Harley into the locker room returned holding a large top hat. “Time to choose your teams ladies.” She shook the hat. 

“Everyone’s name is in here. I will draw the first names; those two ladies will be the team captains. After that, those two will each draw a name, and those ladies will be on their teams. That clear?” 

They all nodded and the woman smiled. “So--everyone ready?” 

Everyone had stood when the woman entered the room, and nodded in response. The woman thrust her hand into the hat and pulled out the first slip. She glanced down at it then smiled looking up. 

“Selina.” 

Selina frowned slightly, then sighed in resignation. 

The woman plunged her hand a second time and pulled out another name. “Harley Quinn.” 

Harley made a small squeak and clapped her hands. 

The woman shook the hat again. “All right Harley Quinn, Selina--choose your team.” 

* 

It only took a few minutes for Selina and Harley to draw names. At the end of it, Selina’s team was made up of Magpie, Cheshire, Killer Frost, Roulette, and Minerva, while Harley had Ivy, Roxy, Livewire, Lark, and Quelle. 

The large woman smiled looking at everyone. “All right ladies. My name is Achievement, and I’m here to set the rules and to hand out these…” She snapped her fingers and a young woman appeared out of nowhere dressed in a black dress decorated with pink dice. She handed Achievement two sets of what looked like shoulder bands, one set red, the other set blue. 

Achievement handed the red arm bands to Harley, the blue to Selina. “The rules are anything goes, win by any means necessary short of killing your opponents. No firearms, no meta-abilities, only use the equipment you’re given, along with fists, nails, teeth...” Achievement smiled nastily. 

This was met by a series of sighs from several of the ladies. Achievement just smiled and continued. “Game Master determines the score and the winner of the jackpot. Get yourselves ready and one of my girls will be coming to get you all in a few minutes.” She clapped her hands. “ All right ladies, get yourselves suited up, have a good time, and may the best players win!” 

* 

Joker was somehow managing to drink out of his straw as loudly as possible so that the sound was even heard over the loud, blaring music. Riddler glared at Joker’s back, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head with annoyance. 

Joker knew exactly what he was doing as he smiled and looked around the skating rink at the other patrons. He picked out other villians that he knew, those he usually ignored, those he wanted to kill, and those he knew would be hilarious to mess with. He was surprised there were so many here. He guessed everyone was more excited about watching the girls skate along with the chance to do some betting on the game than they were about actually winning. It wasn’t often that the villains of Gotham could get together unless it was a plan to kill one another. 

He took another very loud annoying sip through his straw just as the lights changed, beams of colored like whipped around the arena before they all came to focus on a box up above the score board, lighting up a lone figure. 

Joker narrowed his eyes. Game Master. 

The Game Master was a man of average height with red hair cut in an obnoxious pompadour. He had a thick red mustache that he curled up in an old-fashioned handlebar style and wore a pair of glasses with rectangular frames and blue lenses. The man wore a blue jacket that sparkled in the light--covered in some sort of glitter--over a red turtleneck. Joker made a gagging face and noise. 

“Who dresses like that? Yuck,” he muttered. 

Bob silently chuckled while Frost muttered. “That man is tacky.” 

Ecco, who was sitting on Frost’s other side, murmured, her eyes huge. “That guy is weird looking.” 

Archie nodded. “No one should be that sparkly.” 

Joker turned and pointed at Frost. “Exactly! He’s tacky! Look at him wearing a sparkly jacket! Does he think he’s Liberace or something?” 

Riddler muttered. “Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black.” 

Joker spun around, narrowing his eyes at Riddler. “You say something Eddie?” 

Nygma just smiled. “Nope.” 

Joker turned back around with a mutter. “Asshole.” 

The Game Master put his arms up, his voice projecting over the skating rink. “Ladies and Gentlemen!! Welcome to the Game Master’s Grand, Sexy, and Violent game of ROLLER DERBY!!!” 

The lights strobed and the audience clapped with enthusiasm. Joker took a bite of his pretzel glaring up at the Game Master who had his arms in the air, soaking up the applause. 

The Game Master motioned for everyone to calm down before he continued. “Tonight will not be your traditional roller derby game!! But you all knew that! The villainous ladies of Gotham, all chosen especially by me, will be participating in a no-holds barred roller derby game where anything goes. The only rules the ladies have to follow is no murder, no metapowers, and no weapons other than what they come equipped with. These ladies are hot, sexy, and ready to bloody some lips!” 

This was greeted by hoots and whistles, but Joker growled. Bob reached over and laid a hand on Joker’s knee. 

Joker sighed and muttered. “Don’t like him talking about my girl like that.” 

Frost whispered. “You gonna be okay Boss?” 

Joker stuffed half his pretzel in his mouth while grumbling. 

“NOW let me introduce you to your teams!!” Game Master yelled. “On the Red team, captained by someone you all know and love, the beautiful, the sexy, and the dangerous HARLEY QUINN!!” 

Harley skated out onto the rink. Joker was on his feet clapping, whistling, and shouting. “WOOO!!! That’s my GIRL!!!!” 

Harley had her helmet on, her pigtails pulled through a hole on either side at the top of her helmet. She skated around the rink, her arms in the air and smiled broadly before she grabbed her right leg, holding only her skate as she lifted her leg straight up, holding it in the air as she rolled around the rink. The crowd screamed their pleasure at her flexibility. Joker swooned a little. She was the most gorgeous woman in Gotham, he thought, just beautiful with that gorgeous smile, and she looked so sexy. He was happy to see she was still wearing her t-shirt too. 

“Now skating on the Red Team, led by Harley Quinn are: Poison Ivy, Roxy Rocket, Livewire, Lark, and Quelle!” 

The women skated out onto the rink, doing a quick skate around with each of them doing a little move before waving at everyone in the crowd, each of them wearing a red arm band. 

“Next we have Catwoman, head of the Blue Team!!” the Game Master shouted as Harley and her girls skated off the floor. 

The Game Master quickly introduced Selina’s team, followed by Harley’s team coming back out onto the floor. Both teams skated around while the lights flashed and the crowd cheered. 

Joker watched Harley with a happy smile. She looked so sexy that his groin ached at the sight of her. 

Game Master continued. “Now Ladies!! You know the rules!! Get into positions!! Last team standing WINS THE GAME!!” 

Joker was sitting on the edge of his seat and he whispered with a smile. “Beat the shit out of them Harley!” 

* 

Harley skated into the pivot position even though she knew this wasn’t a traditional roller derby. This was going to be a fighting competition, but she was grinning from ear to ear because this was going to be fun. She just wished she had brought some bubblegum. 

She glanced over at Selina who smiled and winked at her. 

The music switched Night Club's "Show it 2 Me" followed by a loud buzzer. Harley took off like a flash. It wasn’t long before Cheshire was coming up alongside her. Cheshire gave Harley a nasty smile before she rammed her shoulder into Harley’s side. 

In the stand Joker was on his feet. “KILL HER HARLS!!” 

Harley stumbled, but kept her skates under her as Cheshire zipped past her. Harley snarled and took off, pushing Killer Frost out of her way to send cold skinned woman colliding with Minerva. 

Both women hit the rails and bounced off, sliding down the rink floor on their sides. 

Harley laughed and put on speed. 

Ivy and Magpie were skating against each other. 

Magpie shot a nasty grin to Ivy. “Hey pretty girl, I like your hair, nice and shiny. Think I might shave it off for my collection of pretty, shiny things.” 

Ivy glared at her. “You won’t lay a finger on me because you’re a lame villain. No one even knows who you are.” 

Magpie glared. “Bitch.” 

Magpie tried to shoulder Ivy, but the redhead simply spun around coming around to face her opponent and giving the mohawked woman a seductive smile before she slammed her fist into Magpie’s face. Magpie’s head snapped back and the lights caught the burst of blood spraying from the villainess’s nose. 

The audience roared their approval. 

Selina was skating between Lark and Roxy, the two women boxing her in. Roxy hip bumped Selina, forcing Lark to skate out of the way as Selina slid off to the side, nearly running her over. Roxy grinned and began to pull ahead, but Selina put on speed and caught up to Roxy within a few seconds. Selina came up even with Roxy and hit the other woman with a right cross in the face that sent Roxy flying off her skates. Selina grinned and put on some speed, sparing a glance over her shoulder. Her grin widened upon catching a glimpse of Roxy, her face a bloody mess. 

Quelle and Lark were skating side by side trying to catch up to Roulette and Frost, who had gotten back to her feet and were after Livewire and Ivy. Roulette looked behind her, pulled out one of the hair sticks from her hair and threw it like a throwing knife. The stick zipped past Quelle, slicing across her cheek. The makeshift weapon left a long and bloody line across her skin, but the cut didn’t slow her down. She and Lark caught up to the two other women, and with a shared grin, they both shot pass Roulette and Frost, cutting them off from Livewire and Ivy. Both Lark and Quelle spun around on their skates and brought their elbows up, just as both Roulette and Frost crashed face first into their elbows; knocking both of them off their skates. 

Lark and Quelle smiled and gave each other a high five before they took off. 

* 

Game Master yelled to the audience. “It looks like the Red team is pulling ahead!!” 

He quickly killed the mic and turned to one of his people standing behind him. “How much money do we have from the betting?” 

The young man standing behind them looked down at the pad in his hands. “Well sir, we’ve got just over three hundred seventy kay in favor of the Red team, but people are still making bets. It’s a big crowd tonight.” 

The Game Master sucked his bottom lip fully between his teeth in thought. Not an attractive look the young man with the pad decided. 

The Game Master smiled. “Let the betting go on for another ten minutes, then close it down. Once the numbers are in, let me know.” 

“Yes sir,” the young man said before turning and quickly leaving. 

The Game Master turned back to the game below with a grin. This was going much better than he had hoped! 

* 

Harley grinned as she caught up with Cheshire. She came up alongside her and grabbed Cheshire around the head, spinning herself around on the skates as she held onto the other woman and punched Cheshire in the side three times, hard punches until she was sure she felt a rib crack. Cheshire hissed and leveraged her arms up to grab Harley around her head; the two women became locked together. Cheshire threw her own punches into Harley’s side, but Harley was the better skater. She swung her hips out of the way enough that while Cheshire’s punches landed, she wasn’t able to hit her with enough power to do more than bruise Harley’s ribs. 

They skated around the rink, locked together with Cheshire landing a punch alongside Harley’s head. The gloves Cheshire wore caught the stud diamond shaped earring where it just barely showed under Harley’s helmet, so that when Harley pulled out of Cheshire’s grip, her earring was ripped from her ear. 

Harley cried out at the sudden pain, her grip loosening enough that Cheshire threw the blonde behind her. Harley went flying backwards at the same time her skates slid out from under and she hit the floor on her ass before falling on her side and sliding along the floor, the other skaters zipping out of the way to avoid falling over her. 

Harley gasped, reaching up to touch her stinging ear. Her fingers came back bloody. 

“That bitch,” Harley snarled, looking over at Cheshire. 

Ivy swung back toward Harley having started to skate past her until she saw the blood. 

“Hey, you okay Harley?” 

Harley pushed herself to her feet after wiping the blood on her shorts--blood dripping from her ear and down her cheek still. She let out a snarl of anger. “Yeah I’m fine, just going to break Cheshire’s face.” 

She took off, skating away and Ivy laughed, following her. “You get her girl!” 

* 

In the stands, Joker jumped to his feet when he saw that Harley was bleeding and yelled. 

“That BITCH!! HURT MY GIRL!!” 

He turned to Frost pointing out at the rink, his blue eyes blazing with indignation. “Did you see what she did to my girl?!” 

Ecco whispered in Frost’s ear. “That is so romantic! The way he gets upset about Harley.” 

Frost shrugged. “Boss is a lot of things, but he loves Miss Quinn.” 

Ecco smiled up at him in a way that made Frost’s insides turn into butterflies. He had worried that bringing her to this would ruin their budding relationship, but figured this was a mostly safe-from-murder scenario. Still, it was nice to have someone looking at him the way Ecco was. He was starting to understand a little bit of the Boss’s and Miss Quinn’s need for each other. Joker started to move, ready to hop down the bleachers and defend his girl, but Bob grabbed him around the waist before the clown had taken two steps and hauled him back. Frost grabbed his arm and Archie ducked, not wanting to be tripped over or kicked as Joker kicked his legs, snarling as he tried to get away. 

“Let me go!! I’m going to punch that bitch in the face! She hurt my girl!!” Joker struggled against the big man’s grip, but just as quickly gave up, especially when Frost said over the music: 

“Boss, Miss Quinn would be pissed if you did! You don’t want her to be angry with you, do you?” 

All the fight went out of Joker, but he grumbled and let Bob put him back in his seat. 

He folded his arms over his chest. “Fine.” 

Joker settled for wrapping his hands around either side of his mouth and yelled. “KILL HER TOOTS!” 

* 

Harley thought she heard Joker yell, but she was too focused on her prey, skating with all her might. She skated past Killer Frost who was down (and she couldn’t be sure without stopping, but it looked like Frost’s ankle was broken), and easily avoided Magpie who had fallen and slid to the bottom of the rink, holding her hand against her stomach; possible broken wrist, Harley guessed. 

She was determined to break something on Cheshire, that was the only thing she was concerned with at the moment: revenge. She was so focused on getting Cheshire that she didn’t notice Minerva coming up behind her until the moment the other woman slammed Harley in the back, causing her to crash into the rail and knocking the air out of her. 

Minerva skated by with a laugh. “Loser clown whore!” 

Harleen pushed herself off of the rail with a frustrated and angry scream. She put on speed and skated toward the other woman, but Minerva had a lead on her when Livewire came up alongside Harley. 

“Hey Harley--need some help?” Livewire grinned at her, her white hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail braid. 

Harley grinned at Livewire. “Hey, can you fling me?” 

Livewire gave her a smirk, her electric blue eyes flashing as she put her hand out. “Kick her ass Harley!” 

Harley put her arm out and Livewire grabbed her teammate by the arm with both hands and flung Harley forward. Harley dropped into a squat to cut down on her wind resistance and flew toward Minerva’s back. A vicious grin curled her lips as she told herself she would take care of Minerva and then go after Cheshire. Harley’s smile became decidedly wicked as she closed the distance on her opponent. 

Just as Harley was about to pass Minerva, she stood up and touched Minerva on the shoulder. The other woman turned as Harley spun herself around to skate backwards in front of her. Minerva looked surprised. 

Harley grinned at her. “Hey ugly!” 

She swung her fist, but instead of going for Minerva’s face, Harley punched her in the breast with all her strength. 

Minerva gasped, nearly falling off her skates while grabbing her chest. “You punched me in the boob!! Who does that??!!” 

Harley grinned, continuing to skate backwards. “I do!” That was when Harley surprised Minerva with an uppercut. She caught the other woman right under the chin and cracking one of her teeth, followed by another punch; this time to Minerva’s nose with gave a satisfying crunching sound that Harley could hear over the sound of the music and screams from the crowd. She landed another punch to Minerva's side, hard enough that Harley felt a rib give. She finished by grabbing Minerva by the hair, yanking her head down at the same time that Harley brought her knee up to slam Minerva’s face into her knee. 

Harley laughed. If Minerva’s perfect little nose wasn't broken before, it was now. 

She threw Minerva off and spun around gracefully on her skates, heading for her real goal, Cheshire. 

* 

In the stands Joker was on his feet again whooping and whistling and punching the air in glee. “DID YOU SEE THAT??!! MY GIRL KICKED HER ASS!! WOO!!! YOU GO PUMPKIN!! DADDY LOVES YOU!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. 

Riddler yelled at him. “Will you sit down!! The rest of us can’t see a damn thing!!” 

Joker turned around and gave Riddler the finger before resuming his jumping and yelling about Harley. 

Penguin chuckled. “Glad I put my money on Harley’s team. Did you see Lark take out Killer Frost? And Quelle’s doing quite well too.” 

Riddler muttered. “How the fuck would I know? I can’t see a damn thing because of that fucking clown!” 

Penguin shrugged and chuckled. 

Archie glanced back at Joker then back at the rink muttering. “Wonder if I threw myself down there if those ladies would kill me?” 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Bob giving him a smile and handing him a funnel cake. Archie gave Bob a puzzled look. He hadn’t even seen the big man leave to go and get the cake, but he shrugged smiling at Bob. 

“Thanks buddy. Guess I can’t kill myself if there’s funnel cake,” Archie said with a sigh. 

Bob nodded sagely. 

* 

Harley skated up beside Ivy. Cheshire was ahead of them skating beside Selina. She had no idea what the score was or if anyone was actually keeping score. She was going to assume they were winning because they had more girls still skating than Selina’s team did. Selina and Cheshire looked to be the only two uninjured players on Selina’s team with only Cheshire, Selina, and Roulette still skating. On their team Ivy, Harley, Lark, and Quelle were still up, though Lark had a black eye and looked like one of her fingers might be broken. Quelle had several scrapes, but looked intact otherwise. Ivy had a bloody lip and a cut on her cheek, but she seemed fine to Harley. 

Harley had stopped feeling the sting of her torn ear and the blood on the side of her face had mostly dried, though she could feel her lip was swollen at the bottom right corner and she was going to have a nasty bruise on her jaw. Those minor injuries just made her feel more than ready to tear Cheshire up. 

Ivy grinned at Harley; she could see the murder in her best friend’s eyes. “Want me to whip you up to her?” 

“Yes please.” Harley giggled as Ivy skated just a little ahead and put her leg out. Harley bent her knees as they rolled along and grabbed her friend's ankle. Ivy whipped her leg forward and Harley went flying forward. When she was close enough to her target, she slammed her hands against Selina’s back with enough force that Selina was shoved out of the way, leaving the space next to Cheshire empty. Harley quickly filled the space, turning to grin at Cheshire who turned to look at her, clearly startled. Harley winked at her before her fist impacted with Cheshire’s face. 

The hit sent Cheshire hurtling into the rails, but Harley spun around on her skates and came back to Cheshire. With a snarl, Harley grabbed Cheshire by the shoulders, hauling her off the rails. 

She spun her around and punched Cheshire in the face again. Cheshire hissed, the punch breaking one of her teeth. 

Cheshire punched Harley hard enough in return that Harley lost her footing and hit the floor. Cheshire sneered, raising her skates up. “I’m going to ruin that pretty face of yours.” 

But before she would use her skate to smash Harley’s face, Harley grabbed her foot and shoved, knocking Cheshire onto her back. Harley got to her feet swiftly and kicked Cheshire in her side--two quick kicks followed by a swift stomp to the gut before Harley took off skating again, a vicious grin on her now bloody smile. 

Cheshire was up and after Harley in a flash. She caught up with her opponent and punched Harley at the base of her neck. Harley scrambled for a moment, almost going off her skates, but she kept her footing. Harley skated closer Cheshire and jumped up to slam into Cheshire’s side and knock her off her skates. Harley skated up beside her as Cheshire reached up to grab her. Instead, Harley grabbed Cheshire’s arm and slammed her knee into the other woman’s elbow at the same time that she bent the assassin’s arm back at an awkward angle. Cheshire screamed, the elbow giving a horrible sounding pop as Harley broke it. 

* 

Up in the viewbox, Game Master grinned. “We got the money?” he asked his assistant who nodded vigorously. “It’s all ready to go sir, we just need to get you out. The match is nearly done but...what about QA?” 

The Game Master shrugged. “The price of doing crime--sometimes you have to have a fall guy.” He looked out onto the screaming arena of Gotham villains with a big smile. “This was one of the best schemes I ever had.” He sighed then turned to leave before the villains down there realized he had just stolen all their money. 

* 

Harley threw her arms in the air as QA announced. “And the winning team is TEAM RED!!” 

In the stands Joker jumped up and down screaming. “WOOT!!! THAT’S MY GIRL!!! WOOHOO HARLEY!!!” 

Behind them Penguin grinned with pleasure. “Well I just made a tidy sum, what about you Eddie?” 

Eddie was glaring at Joker’s back before he smiled. “I did too, I knew whichever team Harley was on would win because I’ve seen her on skates before.” 

Penguin clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Well, I think it’s time we go collect.” 

Joker wasn’t worried about the money as he was completely focused on his wife. He jumped down the bleachers, running to the rink and waving his arms. “HARLEY!!” 

Harley was laughing, talking to Ivy and the rest of her friends, all of them exhausted, sweaty and bloody when she saw Joker jumping up and down, waving his hands in the air at the railing trying to get her attention. 

She giggled watching him for a few moments. “Excuse me ladies, I need to go get some smoochies!” 

Selina smiled, squeezing Harley’s shoulder. “Good game Harley.” 

Harley grinned at her, patting Selina’s hands. “Thank you! You too! See ya Kitty! Bye Ivy, Lark Quelle!” She waved as she skated off. 

Selina watched Harley go with a slight frown. “You know? I envy her, no matter what we may think about Joker, he certainly supports her and loves her.” 

Ivy nodded watching her friend skate over to Joker with a sigh. “Yeah, he’s a murderous clown, but he does love Harley.” She smiled and shrugged. “Well, I would like to get my money. See ya.” 

She skated off. 

Selina sighed, stretching her arms over her head with a smirk on her lips and thought she might see about robbing Game Master before he skipped town. 

* 

Harley skated over to Joker who wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, a deep, passionate and enthusiastic kiss, nearly pulling her over the rail. Harley giggled against his mouth, returning his kiss as she leaned against the rail. He pulled away with a smile, gently touching the sticky blood from her wounded ear. 

“You were fantastic sweets!! I love watching you beat other people up.” Joker chuckled giving her ear a quick inspection, and noted she would need stitches. 

Harley giggled. “Thank you puddin. We won! Did you bet on me?” 

Joker laughed. “‘Course I did sweets! I always bet on my girl.” 

She wrinkled her nose happily and Joker kissed her again with even more enthusiasm. Watching her skate and beat up people always turned him on--a lot. 

Harley pulled away. “Let me change into my tennis shoes and we can go get our money! Oh, can we stop at a drive thru and get milkshakes puddin??” 

Joker laughed with pleasure. “Indubitably sweets! Anything you want. You go get your shoes, I’ll wait right here for you.” 

Wrinkling her nose playfully, Harley grinned and skated off. Joker sighed, watching her rear as she skated away. He dragged his teeth across his bottom lip as a hot, tight jolt raced up from his groin in a delightful burst of want. 

“I really love her in skates,” he whispered to himself with a smirk. 

* 

Pulling out a cigarette while he waited for Harley to come back, Joker had just put the cigarette between his lips when he saw Penguin come racing over to him from the corner of his eye. “Joker! Joker!!” Penguin yelled, nearly wobbling as he ran over. 

Joker glanced over, holding the match to his cigarette with a lifted green brow. “What’s up birdy?” Joker took a deep drag on his cigarette once he had it lit and blew the smoke out calmly. 

“Game Master is missing!” Penguin snarled. “He’s missing and all his people are missing except QA.” 

Joker frowned, taking another drag. “What?” 

Penguin motioned around him, Joker only now noticing that the crowd was becoming hostile. “He’s gone. Game Master is gone and so is the money!! All of it!! He robbed us!” 

Joker’s eyebrows shot up. “WHAT?!” 

Riddler came running up to the two men. “That fucker is gone! He took everything!” 

The crowd of villains were now shouting as Joker and the rest of them turned, watching as QA, being held by Killer Croc on one side and Clock King on the other, was brought into the center of the rink. 

QA was struggling and crying. “He left me behind!! He left me!!” 

Joker jumped the rails along with Penguin and Riddler quickly following him as he walked over to QA who was now surrounded. The crowd was shouting, demanding to know where their money was, where Game Master was and more than a few who were shouting for QA’s head. 

But when Joker started to make his way through the crowd, everyone stepped out of his way as he made his way up to QA. 

“All right, so...Game Master. Where is he?” Joker blew a cloud of smoke into QA’s face, keeping his calm, mostly because regardless of the money, Harley in skates had been worth the entire event for him. 

QA was sniveling. “The whole plan was just to get you all here and take your money. GM knew you all would love roller derby and a chance to bet. He knew he would be able to get away while you were all distracted...but he was supposed to take me with him!!” QA wailed. 

Joker took a drag on his cigarette with a frown. “So he robbed us all?” 

QA nodded, his sobbing so heavy that his response was barely discernible. “Yes!!” 

Penguin growled. “That...that fucker!” 

Riddler stomped his foot. “I knew it!! I knew something wasn’t right!” 

Killer Croc shook QA. “Where’d he go?!” 

QA whimpered. “I don’t know!!” 

Clock Man looked to Joker. “What should we do?” 

(Ecco was standing behind Frost, a hand on Frost’s back, watching all of this with wide eyes. She wasn’t sure if she was scared that some murder was about to happen--or excited.) 

Joker chewed his bottom lip in thought. He was annoyed by the loss of the money, but...he really wanted to get Harley home so he could have her in skates and socks...and nothing else. His erection was uncomfortable and he really wanted to fuck her...but, if he decided to try to find Game Master, that could take all night. A mass of villains on the prowl would also attract Batman’s attention and then he would probably go to bed frustrated, both by not getting his money and not getting to fuck his very fuckable Harley… 

He growled. “You know what? Do what you want with him. I’m going home to have some kinky sex.” 

QA yelled. “NO PLEASE!!! THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME!!” 

Joker flicked his cigarette at him. “Yeah, they probably will after they make you help them find Game Master. Night everyone!” With a wave ,Joker and his little group walked off. He heard the sounds of QA’s screams behind him as the crowd swallowed the man up. 

Archie sighed. “Damn, never thought about robbing bad guys as way to commit suicide.” 

Joker chuckled as they walked away from the crowd. “Who says they are going to kill him?” 

Archie turned at the sound of QA’s wailing and shuddered. 

* 

Later that evening, Joker lay on the bed in their bedroom back at the hideout. He was stretched out on the bed completely naked, his feet crossed at the ankles with pillows propped up behind him while he smoked a cigarette, sipped whiskey from a glass, and waited. 

He only had to wait a few seconds more before the bathroom door opened and Harley came skating out. She was wearing her skates, a pair of long red and black striped socks that reached to her knees, and nothing else. 

Joker grinned, sitting up more when she skated into the room. (They had moved the furniture out of the way to give her room for skating.) “Now that's what I call hot.” He chuckled. “Weren’t you supposed to wear the helmet?” 

Harley wrinkled her nose at him. “Yeah, but I just washed my hair.” (She had showered after they returned home and after Bob had stitched up her ear and given her some pain killers.) 

Joker shrugged putting out his cigarette. “Do a spin for me.” He motioned with his finger, a wide grin on his face. 

Harley chuckled and spun around. Joker groaned in delight; she was so damn sexy. “Mm...do that leg thing you did tonight, the one where you lifted your leg…” He motioned at her, a mischievous smile on his lips. 

Lifting an amused brow at him. Harley lifted her leg, holding the limb up while she did a slow turn. Joker made an audible groan while he watched her intently. She skated with one leg up then switched legs. 

Harley dropped her leg and skated around the room, arching her back, her arms out before she lifted her leg behind her, cutting through the air like a naked sexy rocket. “You seemed awfully calm puddin after losing your bet, and the entrance fee...” 

Taking a sip of his drink, Joker shrugged. “It’s just money sweets, but don’t you fret. Game Master is going to pay. I know the rest of those rubes won’t find him. They’ll look for a few weeks, sure. Penguin will stupidly pay money to have some assassins look for him. Hell, Cheshire might do it for free, but then, after a while, they’ll finally assume he’s gone and fled Gotham for good. Gone to the Caribbean or some other far too sunny place, but I know that Game Master can’t stay away from Gotham. This is where he makes the big bucks. Like the rest of us, Gotham will suck him back in. So he’ll come back when he thinks it’s safe...” Joker smiled slow and sexy at her, motioning for her to spin again while he spoke. “...and that’s when we’ll get him sweets, you and me, when he least suspects it because we never forget a slight.” Joker caught his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes raking over her. “So, until then, I wanted to come home and get the treat I was promised.” 

Harley giggled as she skated around the room being very distracting with her sexiness, which he loved. 

“You are so devious,” Harley mused. "Though I really wanted that cotton candy machine." She pouted just a little. 

Joker laughed. “Yes, but that is one of the things you love about me, and I'll just steal you one sweets.” 

“One of the many, many things I love about you puddin.” Harley skated over to the bed just as Joker sat up fully, dropping his pale legs over the side. He caught her by her hips when she skated close enough and pulled her between his legs. Harley giggled and gazed down at him as he ran his hands along her hips and down her thighs to her knees. He planted soft kisses against her skin, dragging his lips along her stomach. 

“Mm...you smell delicious sweets, vanilla and peaches…” He brushed his nose over the soft skin of her stomach as his hand gently caressed her rear. He slid the tips of his fingers down the back of her legs to where her socks pressed against her skin. Harley sighed, relaxing into his touch as he continued to caress her legs. His kisses moved lower until his tongue slid between her legs. 

Harley moaned softly and reached up to run her fingers through his thick green hair, brushing his hair back from his forehead as he eased her legs further apart and licked her with slow care. 

Harley caught her bottom lip between her teeth with a deep moan of pleasure. 

Joker’s tongue slid against her, caressing her clitoris closely. He wanted to take his time to taste her, but to slowly bring her to a deep burn. He arched his head up slightly and reached between her legs and behind her to grasp her rear, tugging her closer and his tongue found the spot he knew made his girl weak. He sucked slowly, using his tongue to flick back and forth in slow, wet strokes, and alternating with firm, wet circular motions over her. He grinned as Harley’s hands in hair tightened. 

While Joker’s tongue moved over her, alternating with his gentle licks to some sweet, intense sucking, Harley groaned, arching her into him slightly while stroking his green hair back from his pale face. She looked down at him only to see his blue eyes sparkling as he looked up at her. She could feel his smile against her sex as he twisted his tongue, followed by sucking on her clitoris until she thought her knees might buckle. He continued to move his mouth over her, his fingers pressing into the round flesh of her rear as he pulled her closer. Joker shifted his hold on her reaching up to grab her hips. He held her firmly as he licked her thoroughly, sucking a little harder until Harley cried out and her fingers tightened more in his hair. 

Joker groaned when he felt her body tense, then jerk and shudder with her release. He moved his mouth over her, wanting to taste every drop of her pleasure. He loved the feel of her fingers tightening in his hair, the slight pain of her hold on him as she forced him against her. Whenever she was aggressive, it sent shivers down his spine. He chuckled with pleasure, lifting one of her legs, allowing him to lick her deeper. Harley balanced her skate against the bed as Joker licked and sucked at her with more fervor until Harley cried out again. “Uhh...puddin!!” 

Giving her one more long lick when he felt her start to calm, Joker sat back, his lips and chin wet with her pleasure. 

“Mm…” He licked his lips. “...you are so sweet,” he whispered. 

Harley looked down at him, her blue eyes glowing with heat as she stroked his green curls back from his forehead. “You got your way with the skates puddin, but it's my turn now. On the floor, on your back,” she said in a low and commanding tone, then added. “Now.” 

Joker lifted a green brow with an amused smile, his eyes shining brightly. “Well, all right pumpkin, whatever you say!” 

He hurriedly laid down on the floor, smiling at his wife as she moved to stand over him. He bit his bottom lip, gazing up at her naked body, the socks, the skates, the hair between her legs glistening wetly in the light. He laid his hands around her ankles, feeling the leather of her skates and the ties that held them on. The whole image of her over him in those skates made his erection throb with want. 

Slowly, Harley lowered herself down into a squat over him, her hands sliding along his chest. “Mm...you want me puddin?” She caressed his chest, her hands moving gently over his pale skin. 

Joker groaned, his hands sliding up her legs to feel the warm knit of her socks. “Oh I want you, so much Harley.” 

“Good,” she purred, reaching down to grasp his shaft firmly. Her touch made him buck and groan before she lowered herself down on him, groaning low and deep as he entered her body. She lowered her legs down to her knees, pressing herself down on his pelvis. She rocked her hips slowly, squeezing him, her skates pressed against his legs, her fingernails pressing into his chest. 

Joker groaned, his eyes fluttering when he felt his erection become enveloped by her. He reached up to caress her stomach, and slowly moved his hands up to her breasts. He watched her as she moved gently at first, her body gripping and pulling him in ways that made his entire person shudder. He loved watching her face, loved seeing her expression of pleasure. He squeezed her breasts gently, then smiled when Harley looked down on him and licked her lips while she rocked her body against him. 

“You are so beautiful,” Joker hissed in delight and arched his hips when she moved, pressing his hands against her skin. 

Harley grinned, squeezing him and grinding down on him. “Uh puddin...my handsome Joker...” She rocked a little harder and made him jerk and groan when she squeezed. 

“I love you,” she moaned softly. 

“I love you, my pumpkin poo,” Joker whispered between gasps, his face contorting with the effort of not giving in to his climax yet. He dropped his hands to her hips and squeezed hissing as he struggled. “Harley...uh...” 

She ground her hips down against him harder and groaned as she threw her head back. She lifted up a little, sliding along his erection until she was nearly off of him before slowly plunging back down. She did this a few times, shuddering, before she leaned back and grabbed his knees, thrusting herself forward on him. Joker gasped loudly, gripping her thighs. He could feel her skates pressing against him almost painfully. He reached out with one hand to caress her clitoris, making Harley gasp. 

Harley squeezed Joker’s knees, leaning far back just before she orgasmed with a cry, her fingernails digging into his knees. Joker followed her, crying out, his rear lifting up off the floor just a little before Harley released his knees and dropped forward to wrap her arms around him and kiss her husband with passion as they rode out their orgasms together. 

Harley sighed and nuzzled his neck, kissing his ear. “Mm...that was good, especially after a rough night of beating up other chicks on roller skates.” 

Joker smiled, rubbing his nose against her cheek. “Yes indeedie! I think I might have to require you to wear skates all the time, on every scheme, every robbery, every murder!!!” 

Harley laughed, but Joker turned to look at her with a very serious expression. “I’m serious sweets!! I think maybe we could have a Joker’s kink month where all your outfits have to correspond with one of my many kinks for you! It’ll be fun!” 

Harley pushed up on her elbows. “I’ll agree on one condition, I get a Harley kink month and you have to wear outfits that correspond with my kinks for you.” 

Joker gave her a devilish smile. “You got it pumpkin!” 

They both lay on the floor together giggling.


End file.
